Screw it, I'm sleeping in.

Hmm...

2011-02-26T17:21:00.000-08:00

I know not a lot of people read this, but I wanted to share this. Please go read about Keliahs journey to her new family! They are raising money to adopt her from China... I hope they reach their goal soon.
http://www.mattmandi.blogspot.com/

2009-12-17T20:06:00.000-08:00

MJ says "I'm not a boy."

I mean, I realize, shes a baby, she has no hair (she cant help it, stop laughing!) But seriously? Everytime she wears that hoodie, someone asks me if shes a boy?! I dont understand, how many boys do you see wearing a yellow shirt with a hot pink car on it? C'mon people. If you dont know if the baby has a weewee or a hooha, then just dont worry about it. I wont be heartbroken if you dont tell me how cute "she" is... just dont say anything and move on. Or I will punch your face.

Well what do you expect me to bitch about now that I'm a jobless hobo? Ok maybe I'm not a hobo, but I am jobless. Can you tell how tore up about it I am? It was only the best decision I've ever made. But I'm not sure about this whole SAHM thing... I need income, I dont feel right buying Matts Christmas gift with "his" money (I know its my damn money, but humor me)... any other moms feel this way?

You are lucky we're related.

2009-10-30T12:43:00.001-07:00

Sleeping in? Thing of the past. Slug was such a good boy - he loved sleeping. MJ? Not so much. If I'm tired, shes wide awake. She is a pretty good baby - but as I stood over her crib, sticking the pacifier in her mouth ev.ery.time. she accidently knocked it out with her wild monkey hands... I thought , she is lucky we are related... if we werent, I would leave her in a cart at wal-mart. That is what my parents always told my sister when she was being bad. They had concocted this big , and mentally scarring story about how she was actually raised by albino aborigines until she was 2 and then they left her in a shopping cart at wal-mart because she was bad. They always threatened to take her back and leave her in another cart so that someone else would take her. Nothing like threatening your kid with abandonment. But the way I see it, at least they took a break from hitting the bong to make up a story to tell her, am I right?

I showered at a camp ground.

2009-07-29T16:56:00.001-07:00

I feel dirty just typing it. After countless showers at my inlaws, we were both feeling like we were imposing so we decided to go to the "brand new camp showers". Right...well... it didn't go as I had envisioned. I never realize how many ocd tendencies I have until I'm hurled into a situation that makes me tick. They were not scummy and dirty or anything, but I just couldn't feel comfortable. I kept praying to God that no part of my body, my clothes, or my belongings would touch anything in there. I carefully undressed while keeping my flip flops on so that my feet wouldn't touch the floor. The water would just not get hot enough to kill the germs in there. I know I am a psycho. The only thing that got me through was writing a pretend letter in my head to the contractor working on our remodel. I went through all the details on how if I had to shower anywhere else again I was going to knit a blanket made of his entrails for my baby. I am happy to report that I now have a functioning shower in my house! Woo! Hopefully the rest will be done soon... can you imagine how crazy I'm going to be when I have to go without a toilet?

Long time no see...

2009-07-19T18:47:00.000-07:00

I feel like I've floated through the last few weeks, just for the record - I miss my Slug horribly.

On a lighter note, I've continued to wake up every day - keep on keeping on - and enjoy an uneventful and actually pleasant pregnancy. So I'm good.

Now for some things that piss me off - bathroom remodeling. Oh wait , that should have been a list?

Bathroom remodeling
The sound of drills and hammers at 7 am on my day off

Oh yay, I get to deal with both of those again tomorrow. Our bathroom will be amazing when its done, but for now it feels like it will never be done. The first comment on the time line was that it would take 2-3 days. Well that was a big fat lie. I'm pretty sure we are on day 5 now, that includes Saturday and Sunday... and I am still pissing with no door or wall on my bathroom. I never thought I had a shy bladder until now. I also enjoyed my first shower at my inlaws house today. If the contractor doesnt have the tub and shower installed by tomorrow, I will kill him.

He's actually doing a really good job, he cant help it that our local home improvement store - I dont want to step on any toes... but think big, orange, and not Lowes - cant pull their head out of their ass and deliver things on time. All together its just a frustrating experience so far and I'm ready to poop behind a closed door please.

Slug and Me

2009-06-29T10:32:00.000-07:00

I met the love of my life back in 2004. Matt and I saw an ad in the paper and went to "just look" on a whim... about an hour later I was calling my dad begging for $1000 to buy a puppy. My dad said that if I would buy him a Harley, he'd buy me the puppy... I agreed and went to pick out my new friend. The first round of "just looking" the breeders didn't want to get the puppies out to play, I forget the reason, but anyway - I just had to look at them all in a playpen and kind of decide which one I liked. They were all fat little butterballs of wrinkles, how do you decide? I knew I wanted a boy so that narrowed it down. I had my eye on a certain puppy that later that evening wanted nothing to do with me. They let them out so we could watch them play and see how they reacted to us. We knew Slug was the one when he went over and intentionally knocked over the breeders beer and then licked it all up off the ground. I loved him because he was fat and wrinkly, Matt loved him because he made me happy, and he had a white marking in the shape of a "championship belt".

He was the perfect pet, he hardly ever had accidents in the house from the first day we had him. I told Matt that I wanted a pet that would play with toys... none of my other dogs were interested in balls, or squeaky toys. Slug loved toys. He would play with anything ... and I mean anything! His favorite toys turned out to be his rubber duck, his squeaky crab and elephant, and most recently, the water bottle toy. The crab was hands down the favorite. We could say "Slug get your crab" and he would go searching for it. He was really an amazing dog all around - he knew when I was happy, he knew when I was sad. He was my shoulder to cry on when my dad passed away in 2005, he also listened to every little mumbled gripe I had when Matt and I would argue.

Slug was always pretty active for his breed, everyone expected him to be lazy... and it almost seemed like he was only lazy for a short period when he was really young. He loved fetching his toy and then not giving it back right away, running through the grass, and sunbathing. Up until recently we had not had to deal with very many major health issues. He always had some allergy problems and chronic ear infections, but after a quick trip to the vet he was usually back to his old self pretty quickly. In April I noticed one night that he seemed like he was having trouble urinating - after an emergency trip to the vet, we learned that he had stones in his bladder and urethra. He went through an emergency surgery and barely came out of the anesthesia. We brought him home a sleepless week later and vowed that as soon as he was healed we'd go to petco.

A few days later, he seemed like he was feeling good, so off to Petco we went.. Slug picked out his new water bottle toy, thats shaped like a snake but you put an empty bottle inside and then they can chew on it and it makes a ton of noise.... good stuff. As soon as he found it he grabbed it and headed for the door. We stopped him to let a woman tell us how cute he was, and then Matt took him to the side while I paid for his new toys. We promised another trip there soon, but we never made it.

I noticed again that Slug was having trouble urinating and I felt like I had swallowed a brick. The vet had warned us that the stones would probably come back, but we didnt talk much about what that meant. We had been feeding Slug only his prescription food, with an occasional (vet approved) carrot for a treat. We thought the food was doing its job to keep the stones away. I took Slug back to the vet, praying it was an easy fix. The vet checked him out and told me that Slug was completely blocked again with stones, they had moved down into his urethra again and I only had a few options. The options were to either do the surgery again, risk the anesthesia issues - and Slug might have a month until the stones would be back making him sick and miserable again. That would be the last surgery he could have, when the stones came back again (and he assured us they would) then there would be too much scar tissue to operate again. Our other option was to take him home and say goodbye, and bring him back in the morning to be sent to Rainbow Bridge.

I felt like I didnt have much of a decision, why put my poor baby through the stress of surgery, with the possibility that he'd not wake up from it... only to say goodbye in a few weeks? While one side of me was saying "Yeah but one month is better than one night!" I knew in my heart that I would only be doing that for myself, to selfishly hold on to him for a little while longer. I brought Slug home and we called all the people that were very close to him. We went and visited my sister, my granny, and then we came home and people came over to see him, pet him, say goodbye. I wouldn't believe how many of our friends were very sad and came over right away to see Slug. I just couldn't stop crying, knowing what was going to happen. We tried to feed him some junk that we had been denying him for the past few months, but he was already sick and didn't want anything. He just kept trying to pee and he couldn't pass any urine at all. He went downhill so quickly I was shocked, I had planned on holding him in the bed all night - but that afternoon I knew I couldn't do that to him.

Matt called another vet, just for another opinion - just hoping that they would say "Oh yeah, we just got this new magic medicine, come right in we'll fix him up!" but we got the exact same report from her.

Slug and I went to lay in the big bed while Matt called our vet. I laid and stared into his big eyes... petting his back and telling him how much I love him. He just laid there and stared back, telling me how much he loved me. Matt told the vet that he was declining quickly - and he told us he'd come to the office that evening and call when he was on his way. That left us not really knowing how long we had... so I just tried to lay there forever.

The vet called back some time later and said he'd meet us in ten minutes. We took Slug and loaded him in the back seat of the truck and took him to the office. I got in the back seat, pulled his face down eye to eye with me and said "I love you more than anything". Then we went inside, we told him he was going to get a shot and then he'd feel much better... and we didn't lie. Matt put him on the table told him he was a good boy, and it was all over within seconds, he just went to sleep.

This has been the hardest time of my life. I'm not sure if its magnified because I'm pregnant and hormonal - but I'm pretty sure its just a life changing event. A day hasn't passed in a week and a half since we said goodbye that we havent cried, and recalled memories of our special guy. Every part of my day reminds me of Slug and I have to choke back the tears. I still expect to hear him walking through the house, or squeaking a favorite toy... I cant stand this house without him.

For now there's a framed picture on the table, so that he can still beg every time we eat - there's another right beside my bed where he liked to sleep - but pictures aren't helping. I'm trying to look ahead, but for now I just want to look in the past, when I was unbelievably happy with the best dog in the world.

Whats wrong with me?!

2009-06-25T08:51:00.000-07:00

I woke up from a nightmare this morning... and then I was disappointed that I didnt get to "see what happened". WTF? I'm pretty sure the bad guy broke in and clobbered my brain out with a box of morphine. Maybe I should explain? I work in a pharmacy... in that pharmacy we have a "narcotic vault" which is a small room where we store narcotics in a big computerized safe. In my dream, when the bad guy came in to the pharmacy and started killing everyone, I ran into the vault to hide... but he saw me... last I checked, I was pushed up against the door trying to keep him out and he was trying to find a way in. Thank you unborn child for providing me with all these crazy ass dreams. I swear I have at least 2 crazy dreams a night - and they are all so weird that I remember them.

I bought a new camera! Now just the waiting game on when it will actually be here... of course I kind of wanted it for a fight we might go to tomorrow night, and now it should be shipped on Monday. Thats perfect. I cant wait for it to get here so I can take pictures of everything. Not like I dont already have a camera, but since this one has been ordered the other one is getting the shaft, I refuse to pick it up again. Unless someone cool shows up unexpected and they want their picture taken with me... but that is the only reason! Or maybe if I see something cool.

Now off to enjoy my day off, rolling around in a mountain of dirty laundry... be jealous.

Work sucks.

2009-06-17T17:40:00.000-07:00

I think my job makes me miserable. Why do I have to work with people I dont like? That is just not fair.

Also? I have to ride elevators a lot... well I don't HAVE to, I'd probably lose some weight if I did take the stairs more, but c'mon.

Anyway, about the elevators, they always STINK, they are usually hot and stuffy... and there's always someone who doesn't know how to use them. Lets go over this one more time people... the people that are already ON the elevator? Get to come off first, that's why they are standing right by the door... pushing past them is rude and makes them want to shoot you in the face. I always like to bathe in some kind of really strong offensive perfume before I get in the elevator... it makes me feel like I fit in better. Either that or I just climb right on and shit my pants, hell everyone else is doing it! No really, there are no vents in there! If you stink, you will make the elevator stink, then I have to smell you for the rest of my 8 hour shift.

My personal favorite elevator event is when you get trapped by 6 nurses pushing a patient on a bed... and they are all wearing sterile suits and masks over their faces. UM hello? What kind of flesh eating bacteria does that person have and why are you shoving their feet in my face?! Not to mention I'm pregnant, so whatever gut rotting super bug they are spewing out into the air, I'm now breathing in for my unborn child to enjoy. Yeah, thanks.

Today I got to thinking about the elevators and how disgusting they are (yes I'm the weirdo pushing the buttons with a tissue) and I decided to take the stairs, which for a few flights I can handle... but if I'm needed on the fifth floor - its either going to be a while - or I'm going in the stinky elevators. Well my great plan to climb stairs was ruined too - after I huff my way up 3 flights, I find myself face to face with a "Wet Paint" sign. The door is wet with paint? How am I supposed to get out? Thats right, back down the stairs and to the elevator.

I know, I just hate my job in general, I shouldn't take it out on the elevators.

Pissy raincloud of horribleness.

2009-06-11T18:46:00.000-07:00

Thats my day... just a huge pissy raincloud over my head for seemingly no reason. Why are there days like this? Why cant I be one of those smiley people that are optimistic about everything? Because I dont have Prozac, that's why. I don't know whats wrong with me, I'm just in a horrible mood. Dont get me wrong, I'm thankful that I don't have cancer, or a broken leg... or crabs. I'm also thankful that I'm growing an awesome little human, I have a job... and I'm going to have a donut in the morning for breakfast. See? Life couldn't be better. But I am still just a bitch today. Everything is pissing me off and grating on my nerves. Its a funny thing actually, Matt came home in a pissy mood for no reason also! So we just have a house full of fun tonight. There is nothing on TV, the internet, or in my house that will entertain me right now. I kind of just want to go to bed and wake up "all better". Why cant I snap out of this funk?

Sarah said I can do it!

2009-06-03T16:52:00.000-07:00

So watch me do it.

Write two blogs that is...
Baby blog might get an update tomorrow seeing as how I have an appointment... so tonight I'm all yours regular blog.

Today, I was a grown up - I worked and then I went shopping with my friend. MY FRIEND.. who is now probably reading this and filing a restraining order on my weirdo ass. But seriously- she needed party supplies for her sons birthday, and who knows the dollar tree better than me? No one. Ok well someone I'm sure... but still I think I was helpful. It felt good to leave the house and talk to someone besides Slug. Sometimes I feel like when I talk to Matt he just wants me to hurry up and finish so he can tell me about something totally different... which makes me really feel like he's listening carefully. Right. Slug is a great listener but sometimes he starts snoring or farting while I'm mid-sentence... and I'm like "Seriously, you are sleeping right now? I'm having a meltdown!" Then I remember that he is a dog, and that I should make human friends.

This friend talk really makes me sound like a loser, but I'm not- up until now I've just chosen to be REALLY anti-social. So I feel like a real social butterfly today, arent you proud? I'm sure we wont be having a big pregnant lady slumber party anytime soon, but its a start!

In other super exciting news, I had green bean fries for dinner. That is half ass healthy right?

The baby hates you blog.

2009-06-02T17:28:00.000-07:00

Sorry blog, but its all the babys fault that I ignore you so much. I have been selfishly spending all my time at littlebabywallis blog... Who would be so ballsy to think they could keep up with two blogs simultaneously? Why its me... Queen of procrastination over here... that will barely do dishes daily let alone write not one but two blogs.

But sometimes I need to say things that are not appropriate for the baby blog.. things like the F word... and talking about how much I hate people. Thats right I said hate. So here goes... What the hell is wrong with some women? I said SOME, put down your flaming sticks. I wont name any names, but if you are a single woman... awesome.. go out- have fun - flirt with lots of men... SINGLE men. How many times must I reiterate that he is married? And no I'm not talking about my husband... just some innocent bystander that is pretty much being harassed by some ho that thinks she is "all that".

I'm just confused that women can do and say things, that if the tables were turned ... it would be sexual harassment - but since its a female doing it to a male - its no big deal.

So anyway that is my main complaint for today and more than likely the reason I have a headache.

I seriously want to see The Hangover NOW... when does it come out? I forgot.. but the commercial where the woman is on the phone and hears the baby crying? HILARIOUS.
Woman: Is that a baby?
Man: Um that is a .... GOAT.

I hope its as funny as it looks... I need a good funny movie to pull me out of my pissy mood I've been in lately.

Just for you, all the useless info you care to know

2009-05-09T17:53:00.000-07:00

1. If you could come back as a dress, what would it be? Um... please dont make me hug another womans body.

2. If you could come back as a model, who would it be? One of the chunky ones.

3. Favorite color? Pink, brown

4. Favorite junk food? Cheetos

5. What are you most vain about? Um ... my personality? does that count?

6. What are you most shy about? My belly

7. Who are your fantasy dinner party guests? Sarah

8. Who is your fantasy celebrity one night stand? Pssh... I dont have fantasies.

9. Where is your favorite place to have a drink? In my yard

10. What is your favorite brand of underwear? Cheap ones

11. What was the last book you read? Handle with Care

12. What's your typical breakfast? Poptart... or something with eggs

13. At age seven, you wanted to be... Cop

14. What's the thing you find easiest to forgive? Stupidity, some people just cant help it!

15. What's the thing you find impossible to forgive? Cheating

16. Do you have any superstitions? Not really, dont tell your nightmares before breakfast maybe.

17. Where is your favorite place to shop? Online

18. Whose wallet would you like to steal? Someone rich that carries cash only!

19. Whose diary would you most like to read? Matts

20. If you were an inventor, what would you invent? Hmm, I dont know

21. Who's your favorite furniture designer? Designer? um.. yeah- no.

22. What is your favorite car? Dodge Challenger

23. What was your childhood nickname? Cubby

24. When and where you happiest? I was happiest when Matt and I first got together and my dad was alive.

25. Who's your best friend? Matt

26. Who's your worst enemy? Too many to list

27. What piece of art would you most like to own? Something expensive I could sell for lots of money

28. What's your favorite vacation spot? Somewhere cold

29. What is your most treasured possession? my dads bear rug

30. Who is your favorite fictional character? shrek

31. Who is your favorite musician? I dont have one

32. If you weren't a (your profession), what would you be? English teacher

33. What current trends would you like to see disappear? Haha - I thought that said friends. but trends, skinny jeans and anorexic, drug and sex addicted role models for little girls.

Spring cleaning!

2009-04-12T07:24:00.001-07:00

We are still recovering from the ice storm... I cant believe there are branches everywhere still... I finally decided to clean the sticks out and try to make a little flower bed :)

There was an old tree here that I killed and needed to dig up... so I did that and put down some soil... now I just need more flowers... for now its just kind of a ceramic mushroom garden.

Like how I used fallen branches as my border? I thought it would be temporary but its kind of cute like that...

Heres the pile of crap that I removed from just that area!

So much for that.

2009-03-02T11:12:00.000-08:00

Well ... I have good news!
I will actually be gaining weight instead of losing it ... Crazy I know.

I'm pregnant!
Here a gorgeous picture of our little one, who I am calling Hank.

Pound For Pound Challenge Widget

2009-01-09T17:32:00.001-08:00

No seriously.

2009-01-05T07:47:00.000-08:00

Our favorite neighbor and good friend passed away on Christmas. We made it through new years without another death *knock on wood* ... 2008 just really sucked.

Which made me wonder, do the dead care what we wear? I can tell you right now, that I do not care what you wear to my funeral. Please when I die, someone print this out and mail it to my family. I spent an hour trying to find something appropriate to wear to the last funeral, thinking the whole time "Bob does not care" and he would tell you the same thing if he were here today. I know its a show of respect, but I dont own any dress clothes, except for my wedding dress, which I think would be inappropriate. So just for the record, when I go , everyone wear whatever the hell you want, because I'm not sitting on a cloud passing judgment, thats for sure. Also, keep the whiny music to a minimum... I want you to play "When I get where I'm going" By Brad Paisly and Dolly Parton... also that Seven Spanish Angels song. Thanks.

Whats with the "happy days"?

2008-11-27T19:01:00.000-08:00

All our "happy days" turn to shit ... my dad died on my grannys birthday a few years ago - and today (Thanksgiving) Matts grandpa died.

I had looked forward to today all week, it is my only day off and all I could think of was sleeping in this morning. I feel like a dumbass that the sound of the phone ringing at 6 AM sent me into a quiet rage of thinking "Who the hell is waking me up on Thanksgiving!" then before I could even fully open my eyes I thought "Oh no." I knew in the bottom of my heart that something bad was about to be told to me... I knew it wasn't a good thing for the phone to be ringing that early on a holiday. Sure enough, it was my father in law Mike calling to give us the bad news. Suddenly, I would give up sleeping in forever if we could just share a good laugh with Paul one last time.

His best days had past quite a while ago as he had slowly been getting worse. Recently he had suffered a few minor strokes, and I will echo everyone else in saying "He's in a better place, he's not suffering anymore" but that doesnt make it sting any less and we all know that we are never ready to get that phone call. All I can say is that he was an awesome grandpa- he lived a good long life and he will be missed greatly. The first time I met Paul he was chomping at the bit for Matt and Marisa to throw the frisbee with him in the yard. He was old fashioned and he liked to live his life that way. He loved little puzzles , you know , the ones that drive me crazy. He was tickled when Matt shot the big buck out in their garden... he liked watching the deer in the backyard and he would call to tell Matt about them. He reminded me a lot of my grandpa... and I will miss him a lot.

You know what bugs me?

2008-11-24T13:46:00.000-08:00

Ok Everything. I am just grumpy. But something that really bugs me? Is music on blogs. I'm sorry, I dont think its a good place for a music player. I personally? Cant read and listen to music... so if you want people to read your blog, you should probably shut up with the music. This is not aimed at any one blog imparticular , and actually- I dont "frequent" any blogs that have this problem... but I just happened upon one and it pissed me off. Maybe it had to do with the fact that my speakers were up too high, and the music was stupid.

Seriously? imparticular is not a word? KATE! HELP ME.

Happy Pumpkin Day!

2008-10-27T11:06:00.000-07:00

Here they are folks... Matts first pumpkin! His is the face one... and mine is the awesome skull one (That he eff'd up and knocked one of its teeth out ... but its ok - he was "helping")

They are kind of hard to see because of the flash, but trust me , they are great.

Just blabber

2008-10-01T13:57:00.001-07:00

Well I figured I should post ... since I am going crazy here and Slug seems like he's tired of talking to me.

Why is it that people are so rude? I guess maybe I was raised different ... but within the past few days I have encountered more rude people than you could imagine! The one that really sticks out in my mind is a customer at walgreens... we were both there to pick up prescriptions and she was just snotty beyond all means. She was rude to the woman at the counter , she sat there huffing and making snide remarks the entire time. I apologized to the poor cashier it made me feel so bad! I said "I'm sorry that woman was so rude to you, I hope you have a nice afternoon" I just wanted her to know that other people noticed how she was being treated!

Ok enough with the bitching I guess.

I am a deer season widow this week... the original plan was for me to go hunting with Matt for a few days .. but I just wasnt feeling up to it. Granny isnt feeling good , she has gout in her toe, and I kind of hate to be over an hour away from her if she needed something. So instead I'm going to do some deep cleaning ... and mope around the house for a while. I think it will be good to have a few days to myself to just do whatever I want. Even though I already miss my hubby! Its so odd sleeping without him... and I woke up cold this morning! I guess I have been secretely depending on his body heat and didnt know it. LOL ...

Random stolen thing

2008-09-27T19:54:00.000-07:00

Me from A-Z ! Stolen from Awesome Sarah (Have you thought of having your name legally changed?)

A-Accent: No accent here... maybe... I've been told that I talk "slow"
B-Breakfast item: Eggs! Scrambled eggs with gravy on top is delish.
C-Chore you hate: Dishes! I would really like a dishwasher.
D-Dad’s Name: Willis
E-Essential every day item: Diet Pepsi, or Diet Mtn dew ... they are interchangeable
F-Flavor Ice Cream: White... you know cause white is a flavor.
G-Gold or silver?: White gold!
H-Happy Place: My bed
I-Insomnia: Here lately a lot! And it sucks ... I wake up at like 2 and I'm wide awake.
J-Job: Dealing drugs. No seriously.
K-Kids: Slug
L-Living arrangements: Matt and I live in an old crappy house.
M-Mom’s birthplace: Hmmm thats a good one... I dont know , she didnt know either , she was adopted.
N-Name your pets: Slug and Maggie
O-Overnight hospital stays: Once I was sick when I was little , my throat was swollen up or something
P-Phobia: Wet floor signs. Its a long story.
Q-Question: Why doesnt anything go my way?
R-Religious affiliation: There is a God , and I should have a better relationship with him.
S-Siblings: One older sister- Krystal
T-Time you wake up: 4:45- or 5am ... got to be at work at 6
U-Unnatural hair colors you’ve had: "Eggplant" (It was purple ok!) Blonde highlights, pink highlights
V-Vegetable you refuse to eat: Lima beans! :gag!:
W-Worst Habit: Worrying myself to death
X-X-rays you’ve had: Wrist, head, chest...
Y-Yummy: Anything mexican... rice ... Burrito Mexicano
Z-Zoo animal: HIPPO! I am obsessed a little with hippos.

Gah. I'm a slacker!

2008-09-03T16:12:00.000-07:00

What is it with me and not blogging? I'm sorry Sarah... my one and only blog reader. I know how much these entries mean to you.

So no sleeping in tomorrow! I have the biggest best job interview ever. I am so excited about it and I'm hoping it goes well. Everyone wish me luck and cross your fingers. I've been trying to "study" interview questions on google... but really ... how prepared can I be? I just need to be calm and honest. I have all the qualifications, not to mention a kick ass personality... How could they deny me?

Stolen from Trin

2008-08-07T17:29:00.000-07:00

As a 1930s wife, I am
Superior

Take the test!

Apparently I'm living in the wrong decade.

Ugh, lines!

2008-04-30T13:05:00.000-07:00

I hate lines. Not that I'm impatient , the waiting isn't the bad part ... its the people!
The other day at work I was minding my own business waiting in the waffle line ... and some lady just stepped right in front of me to talk to another woman that was in front of me! I thought they would chat and she would leave , but no .. she ordered! GRRR! How freaking rude? Then she proceeded to follow me to the checkout where I got in line first , so she stood behind me singing and dancing around (I.am.not.kidding.) and she was flailing her arms so much that she hit me! I just stood there clenched my teeth , paid for my waffle and left.

So today , I am in line at the post office ... and the woman behind me just keeps getting closer and closer ... I hate that! The line is NOT moving , I am at the front of the line ... and when its my turn? I'm going to move ... but until then, keep your freaking distance! Maybe my personal space bubble is bigger than others , but when I can feel someone breathing on me .. thats too close!

Yay Easter!

2008-03-23T12:42:00.000-07:00

Hello and happy Easter everyone!

I guess this is officially my first Easter as an adult ... even though I'm 23. When I was little ... many , many years ago ... we would gather around with family , eat a ton of delicious food and hunt easter eggs. Then when I got too old to hunt eggs , I would watch my little cousins and nephew hunt eggs .... well this year is a little different... We decided to stay home and cook our own dinner. It turned out really good , we had the usual , ham , cheesy taters, rolls, corn, and deviled eggs. Made me feel kind of old to not be involved in any of the usual festivities but we will have plenty of time for that when we decide to have children of our own. I guess we could have let Slug hunt Easter eggs , but seeing as how he eats anything he finds , that is not a good idea. Speaking of eating anything he finds , he had some packing peanuts this morning , so maybe he would have been too full for eggs anyway.

This weekend just flew by ... we saw a lot of friends that we havent seen in a long time ... and the growing trend with all of them is they are all pregnant , or just recently had babies! So of course we got bombarded with THE question "When are you going to have a baby?" ... Well to answer that for everyone, we dont know. So stop asking. :)
I was even asked "So you're not even trying right now?" which I thought was a little on the rude side... who says that we even have to have babies? We fully plan on it , but it seems like since I'm not "knocked up" or even trying ... then I must have the plague or something ... I'm ONLY 23 ...even though I feel like I'm 40 , I'm not ... I'm still relatively young... I don't think my "clock" is ticking just yet .... Geez people.

Anyway ... Happy Easter! I hope everyone has a marvelous day today and an even better week to come! As for me , I will be working my tail off ....

Oh yeah I almost forgot...

Why does the Easter Bunny hide all his eggs?

Because he doesn't want people to know he's been screwing a chicken!

HAHAHA (Thanks for that one Meg!)

What a rip off!

2008-03-12T08:20:00.000-07:00

I dont know if anyone is familiar with Who-Cakes .... so if not ... you can learn all about them at Ihop.com ... They are Horton Hears a Who inspired pancakes from Ihop ... When I saw them I thought that it was such a cute idea , of course I wanted to try them. Well we went to Branson Monday night (our nearest Ihop) so I could get the mayors breakfast... The green eggs and ham were great but they brought out my Who Cakes ... and I was so disappointed! I guess they thought since I'm an adult I didn't need the full experience ... so they left off most of the syrup stuff and they didn't put the chocolate chips on them! It was sad ...but I figured I better spread the word that the who-cakes are not all they are cracked up to be ... We wished we had went to the Olive Garden instead ... like two normal adults.

Where is everyone?

2008-02-21T16:45:00.000-08:00

I keep up with four blogs ... I check them almost daily ... and no one is posting! Is there a blogging strike? C'mon people!

Other than that it is cold and icy ... and I can not tell you how thankful I am to have a sweet caring hubby that drops me off at work everyday so I don't have to brave the parking lot.

The only thing making me want to sleep in lately is germs. I think I need medication or something ... I will watch people at work and I get so grossed out... they will wipe their nose and then walk right past the hand sanitizer and touch something that all the rest of us have to use! I walk around with alcohol all day disinfecting everything I can get my hands on. I thought grown ups knew all about spreading germs but I guess some of them are disgusting and just don't care! Wash your hands people!

I agree!

2008-01-20T15:54:00.001-08:00

Thats right I am posting again.

I just have to say , Sarah you are not alone. We are so broke its crazy! It seems like everything that could go wrong has ... every time we get ahead , something else bites us in the ass! I never get to buy or do anything fun anymore and it sucks. I just wanted to let you know that even though I am a million miles away, I still know exactly how you feel!

Yuck.

2008-01-20T15:46:00.000-08:00

Well it wont be long and we will be leaving for Florida... (Ok its not until June , but I like to plan ahead) .... Time seems to be flying by us ... we've almost been married for a year! We are very excited about our trip to FL but I would like to knock off a few pounds before then... Anyone got any tips? I don't mind the whole less food and more exercise thing ... but its hard to find healthy stuff thats easy to cook...

I wish I blogged more!

2008-01-07T20:05:00.000-08:00

Its really sad that I think of things to blog about while I'm at work ... and then I don't remember them when I get home. I am so confused because I worked all weekend, so today is my Friday. But for anyone else, its Monday. Did I mention I hate working weekends? Who am I kidding? I hate working during the week too.

If you haven't seen Walk Hard, then you should go see it! Well ... if you are not easily offended. Its not one for the kiddos (It shows nekkid man parts!). A lot of people are calling it a "spoof" of Walk the Line ... but I didn't really feel like they were making fun of Johnny Cash... it was just a wildly inappropriate comedy. Matt really got a kick out of it.

If you know me , you are probably thinking , what the hell was she doing at the movies? I hate going to the movies usually. I just kind of cant stand going into public at all... But we decided we are going to have a date night once a month. Cheesy huh? :)

Our date night for December didn't turn out exactly as Matt had planned, he had to work late, and I had an awful cold. We ended up eating dinner at home instead of going out , and then we caught the 5:30 show of Walk Hard so that I could get in bed early. It was still lots of fun to just spend quality time with my hubby.

Ok ok I'm behind.

2007-11-07T12:31:00.000-08:00

Well we went to Peoria at the end of October. We had a fabulous time visiting with all my family there! Matt had never met most of them , so it was a new experience for him ... We also took my Granny and she stayed with her sister that lives there, they had a great time together!

The purpose of the trip was to go to my cousin Angelas wedding! They had a gorgeous fall themed ceremony and one of the most rockin' receptions we've ever been to! They had a really good DJ that kept everyone entertained all night... And did I mention the prime rib? :drool:

Congrats Angela and Casey!

We really liked it up there ... everyday Matt and I went and got hot tea and caramel mudd macchiatos from a little coffee stand called Mountain Mudd Espresso... Matt was hooked for sure. There was also a stuffed animal on our bed in our hotel room! Which was really weird because ever since Matt and I got together the only stuffed animal he buys me is a monkey... well thats what was on our bed! They put different ones in each room and we just happened to get a monkey... I was very tempted to keep it until I saw that it would cost me $20! So I took a picture with him instead ...

Not a very flattering picture of me ... but you get the point...

On the way home I was promised krispy kreme donuts. After passing a million of them I was getting a little antsy. Matt swore there was one in the next town ... so I tried to pull it up on my phone and prove him wrong... Stupid internet would NOT work. So I texted Awesome Sarah to help me out... She reported back that the closest one was like 80 miles from that town ... So no Krispy Kreme for me. Bastards.

Matt said we could drive to Branson anytime and get donuts ... but have we went to Branson yet? Nope.

All in all the trip was great ... we will definitely be going back soon! And next time I'm getting donuts!

Gravy. The chocolate kind.

2007-11-07T06:40:00.000-08:00

This has got to be one of my favorite recipes ever. It is SO easy and you probably have all the ingredients in your house already...

I always heard about chocolate gravy and thought it sounded disgusting... my husband finally talked me into making it and now I am hooked.... when we cant decide what to make for dinner we make choco gravy, biscuits, sausage and eggs... best dinner ever!

Here it is , seriously you have to make it - now!

Chocolate Gravy
1 cup sugar
2 tbsp. cocoa
2 tbsp. flour
2 cups milk
1 tsp vanilla
1 tbsp. butter

Mix sugar, flour and cocoa together in sauce pan, add milk. Heat on medium/high stirring with a whisk until it reaches desired consistency. Remove from heat, add butter and vanilla.

Glorious day!

2007-10-24T08:48:00.000-07:00

Well as of lately I decided that I hate October... and earlier this week I was going to blog about all the different reasons that October is a good month to sleep in ... then today October 24th 2007 .... October proved to me that it is not the worst month ever. Anyone care to guess why? Thats right Sarah, Christmas tree cakes are here!

I had to make a trip to the grocery store today so that we wouldn't starve to death ... and also to get some groceries for the Slug sitter this weekend. As I was thinking about how I really wanted , but didn't really need some honey buns... I saw them on the bottom shelf of all places! Christmas tree cakes! The mother of all Little Debbie snack cakes. Ok- thats a little dramatic ... but they are my favorite and pretty much the only snack cake I eat.

Its sad that they only come around once a year ... but I was pleasantly surprised to see them so early! So everyone rush out and stock up... they'll only be here for a few more months!

So in the end, I was glad I didn't sleep in too late today...

Day off my ass!

2007-10-10T14:43:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I call this my day "off" I've done more work today than I'd do normally at my job that pays money.

I hate housework and I will be rich enough some day to hire a maid! But the most annoying part of it all is the dog hair... I could sweep and mop everyday and there would still be an abundance of dog hair. Today I got a little frustrated as I broke a sweat while vacuuming off "Slugs chair" ... I busted my ass cleaning that chair ... and the whole time I was thinking ... why does my dog have a $1000 chair to sit in? Ok so the chair wasn't quite $1000 , but with tax and interest I'm sure we paid that much ...

I picked out that chair because it matches our sectional... and because I had always wanted a big chair like that ... I don't know when it went from being my chair , to being Slugs chair ... I guess I slept in on the day that decision was made... but now that I've figured it out , I'm pissed about it and I want my chair back... too bad that now it is the place where chew toys go to die and it smells .... (SURPRISE) - like a dog.

Devil in the deli.

2007-07-17T05:57:00.000-07:00

Ok-- first of all , why am I up this early on my day off?

Next, I want anyone that is reading this to know I am usually a very nice person. Seriously! Ask Sarah! Anyways usually Matt and I go grocery shopping every weekend. We pretty much always need the same things over and over again, lunch meat, bananas, water. Well we decided to go on Sunday afternoon, we saved the deli for last and I am really glad we did! After waiting a good five minutes, someone finally "helped" us. I got half a pound of turkey thin sliced, then Matt ordered his pound of Virginia ham, shaved. Heres how that went...

Matt: I need a pound of that Virginia ham, shaved please.
Deli Clerk: Do you want it very thin or falling apart?
Matt: I would like it falling apart if you could please.
Deli Clerk: (In very rude, stern tone) WHY would I ask you if I couldn't do it that way!?

The deli clerk that shall remain unnamed then proceeded to complain out loud to her co-workers about having to "shave" our ham. She offered the task to another worker, that refused and walked off. She then commented that she hoped the deli in Flippin was hiring because she would rather work there. Then after taking her sweet ass time, she flopped the meat up on the counter and didn't say a word to us. I could not believe how rude she was! If I would have been Matt, I would have pushed it back across the counter and informed her on a nice place for her to "store" it. But he was polite, and we took our sammich fixin's and mosied on. I did call the manager after we got home, and he wasn't surprised at all and actually knew exactly who I was talking about. I can honestly say that is the first time I have ever had to complain about an employee! But I think it was justified.

Which brings me to my next point, does anyone actually like to work? I know some people "love their job!" but when it comes down to it , if I gave you the choice , of spending quality time with your family/walking your dog/going on vacation OR going to work-- which do you think would win? There are parts of my job that I don't like. Iron dextran drips are the devil. I hate making them, they are messy and a huge pain in my ass -- but you can rest assured that the next time I make one, I'm not going to march up to the patient that needs it and complain about how hard it was to make. Its part of my job , I secretly hate it , but I still do it. I think everyone has at least one part of their job that they dislike , but I think that normal people keep that to themselves.

See just another day that I would have been better off sleeping in! But as always with a trip to Wally world, I got an orange fanta, so things evened out.

I take it back!

2007-07-16T08:55:00.000-07:00

After much consideration, I want to go back and skip Friday night! Work sucked , and when I got home Matt and I got in a huge (and stupid) argument that pretty much ruined our entire weekend. Ugh. Anyway , the weekend is over and I'm off to a great start today! I've done two loads of laundry and a sink full of dishes! Go me! I think I am excited because I only work three days this week... Friday is Matts birthday and I requested to be off work... I'm not sure what we'll do on Friday , but on Saturday we are going to the cage of honor fights in Poplar Bluff MO. The fights are always exciting and we are both chomping at the bit for next weekend to get here.

This past weekend , I offered to pick up some medicine from UAMS in Little Rock -- thats about a 3 hour drive from here , but I didn't mind since we get paid for time and mileage. It amazes me how different their hospital is from ours. At the hospital I work in we have a policy called "Meet and greet within ten feet" we are all supposed to say hello or at least smile at people in the hallways. We are also expected to help people out when they look like they are lost .... Totally different at UAMS! No one smiles, no one helps. I was a total fish out of water and I'm sure everyone could tell.

Highlight of the weekend, we had IHOP and I of course got the stuffed french toast with strawberries! Thats pretty sad when french toast is the highlight of your weekend.

Slug needs a pedicure

2007-07-13T09:25:00.000-07:00

I seem to wake up with the bulldog in my bed every morning... It doesnt matter if you tell him not to get in the bed -- he does it anyway. Most of the time he finds a spot at the bottom of the bed , but sometimes he gets brave and wants to put his head on Matts pillow. Well the problem with this is , when Matt leaves, I put my head on his pillow! This morning Slug tried to see if we could share I guess, because I woke up with his little face right in my face and his little sandpaper paw dug into my shoulder. He's a funny boy, but I guess he won, because he's still laying there and I got out of bed.

I dont think I've ever been happier for Friday to be here! This week was super long! It sucks to think that most people get to start their weekend at 4 or 5... I get off work at 11 pm. So I get an exciting Friday night of coming home and going to bed. But at least I'm off tomorrow right?

Another day, another dollar.

2007-07-12T21:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I fantasize about things. I know some women fantasize about Johnny Depp or maybe even Jessica Simpson -- But I like to fantasize about the day I no longer have to work. Maybe I'll win the lottery, or maybe Matt will be famous and I can ride his coat tails to the top, but seriously am I supposed to work this mediocre job forever? My job is nothing to complain about , I'm sure it could be much worse... but when I think of what I want to be doing in ten years, this is not it. Is everyone else ok with working their jobs? I guess I am stressed about it , because I dont have a dream job. Theres not a job that I know of that I could happily work at for the rest of my life. Maybe if cuddling with a bulldog paid good, I could do that ;)

Whats the password?

2007-07-11T07:48:00.000-07:00

Uh, it has apparently been so long since I blogged that I forgot my password! Dont worry, all is well and here I am blogging my little heart out.

Everyone that reads this (that I know of) knows me personally so they know I've been working my ass off and barely have enough time to do anything.

I would just like to say that being an adult sucks.

In other news, in January I started a new job as a pharmacy technician , and in April I married my longtime boyfriend Matt. We had the best wedding ever, there was bbq, catfish and beer-- who could ask for anything more? Oh yeah, and I was there in a fancy dress, and he was looking spiffy in his tux. A lot of people doubted my ability to pull off a camouflage themed wedding without looking like a complete hillbilly, but I think I did an alright job.

And dont worry folks, I think I've made it my half years resolution to blog more often.

You like that dontcha?

2006-12-28T06:01:00.000-08:00

Christmas is over , its almost the new year , so it was time for a non holiday related photo to replace the one of me and Homer. You like to see me in all my sleeping glory? Thats a real life picture taken mere seconds after I woke up! See the puffy eyes? The disheveled hair? I don't really care if the whole internet sees me that way, because thats actually how I look most of the time anyway.

This morning I wake up to none other than the sounds of Matt banging around getting ready to go hunting, I think we've discussed his disregard for my sleeping habits before. He turns on the light , leaves it on , leaves the room. Big no no. So I get up ... wander to the bathroom, and then I notice he's sitting in his chair in the living room , so I asked him "Are you done in the bedroom?" and he says "Uh yeah" so I go back into the bedroom , turn off the light and lay back down. At this point theres no possible way I'll be going back to sleep because I'm mad. Next thing I know , I hear his truck start up and he's gone. That was his second no no of the morning! He didnt say an effin' word to me to let me know he was leaving. This is not normal in our house, so I call his cell phone to see what was going on, and he just forgot to tell me bye. I know its childish , but my whole day is royally screwed now because I woke up in such a bad mood. You know how when you wake up to a screeching alarm clock, or to someone yelling at you, it tends to have an effect on your entire day? Well it does for me anyways , and I can already tell this is going to be a bad day.

Times are changing!

2006-12-27T07:06:00.000-08:00

And so are vehicles. If you haven't noticed , some newer vehicles have brighter lights. Please stop flashing your stupid effin' lights at me, I know when my brights are on , theres a bright blue indicator on my control panel that TELLS me that they are on.

This morning , I wake up at 4 am and know instantly that my sleeping time is over, so Matt and I get out of bed , he goes hunting , and I go grocery shopping. I hate large crowds so any chance I get to get my shopping out of the way , either incredibly late , or early , I do it. As I was returning from my early morning shopping, a car turns its brights on and leaves them on flashing them at me and such. I ignored it for a few seconds , but I'm really not a morning person anyways, so I turned my brights on for them! If they think my regular lights are bright , they were probably really impressed with my high beams, don't you think?

I swear every time I drive my truck in the dark , people think I am bright lighting them, and its not my fault that Chevrolet apparently made the lights on my truck brighter than some other vehicles! It is really one of my pet peeves. So I guess what I'm trying to say , for all you folks that do it on a regular basis, STOP FLASHING ME!

Glad thats over!

2006-12-26T15:49:00.000-08:00

I have never been so relieved to have Christmas over with! It just seems like a really stressful time of year ... Mine was pretty good , how bout yours?

I bought my best friend Ashley a really neat set of glasses and a pitcher shes had her eye on... well we haven't got to exchange gifts yet and she just called me squealing that she had bought herself a set of them. Great. So I guess I will still give her the glasses, and give the pitcher to my granny or something ... Who doesn't need more glasses? But now I have to find something else for her ... and I thought my Christmas shopping was done!

I got lots of good loot this year including an Elvis CD, and some bear candle holder thingies, a bulldog clock, a bulldog address book, a coach purse, a toilet seat and a big ol' turkey roaster thing! I got some other stuff too but those are my favorites. I cant wait to see everyone take down their decorations, and get on with normal life. Yeah right, what am I thinking? Those decorations will be up till July! But maybe the radio will stop playing so much Christmas music!

No suit shopping , and pinching booties!

2006-12-23T10:04:00.000-08:00

I got a job! I got the same job at the hospital and didn't even have to buy a suit! Hows that for the best Christmas present ever?

I am super excited about having extra money! I wont feel like such a scrub for taking money from Matt all the time ... Is everyone stoked for Christmas? Not me ... I'm super ready for it to be over with , maybe next year I will be more prepared , but I feel like all I've done is last minute shop and that really sucks ass.

Um.... I got a new toilet seat! Me and Matt decided to open a present early , and I got a new toilet seat. He got a CD and a hat. Remember my Christmas list? I thought for sure I would get a new screen door! But a toilet seat is awesome too, now we can throw away the one that has been pinching our booties. Don't act like you haven't sat on a toilet seat that pinched your bootie. You know the fancy padded kind that get a little crack (no pun intended) on em and then it pinches every time you sit on it? Thats what we've been dealing with! Who woulda thought I would be so happy over a toilet seat? Matt kinda acted bummed out that he got it for me ... I think it was more of a joke , but something we really needed , but he opened his present and really liked his hat and CD so then he thought maybe he should have given me something else? But I love my new toilet seat.

I'm alive!!!!!!!

2006-12-15T06:42:00.000-08:00

So HA! That's right , I ate week old chicken and lived to tell the tale!

I just don't see the big deal over it , I paid good money for that food , and he wants me to throw it out to Booduh? Uh, no! So I'm alive, everyone can calm down , Sarah can get that Uhaul outta my drive way now. So yesterday a certain Elf sent me a Christmas CD of Elvis music , and today I'm putting that CD in my truck , and going Christmas shopping. That's right , that's what it takes to get my ass in gear is a little Bluuuuue Christmas!!! So what does everyone want for Christmas? Not that you're getting anything from me , but its nice to ask , right? Wanna hear my list?

I want...

Trim to replace all the trim ripped out of our house
A new screen door to replace our ghetto screen door
A bouncing baby bulldog puppy!
Dead like me , any season on DVD
New shoes!
A job!

Wasn't that a good list? I thought so...

Suicide by Leftovers

2006-12-14T19:07:00.000-08:00

I would like to start this blogging by saying that if I do in fact die , I would like for Sarah to have pretty much any of my crap that she wants.

Ok , so this afternoon I made dinner for Matt , he came home , ate and then we went to a friends house. I didn't eat earlier , I figured I'd have leftovers later , so when I went into the kitchen to do just that, I realize that Matt has just polished off what was left of the chicken. So I had to dig through the fridge for something else to eat.

I'll give you a little background to this 'story'
1. I'm poor.
2. I'm not picky.
3. I'm kind of stupid.

This past weekend , Matt and I got to eat at Chili's , which is rare (I'm poor). I guess my "eyes were bigger than my belly" because I didn't eat very much of my food, so like any other thrifty American , I brought it home to finish later. I don't know what "later" is (I'm kind of stupid). So fast forward to today, I'm hungry , so I dig those leftovers out of the fridge, Matt gives me one of those looks, followed by something to the effect of "If you eat that , you'll die." And he didn't mean it in the cute way like , if you eat the last cookie , you will die, he meant in the literal sense , like it was entirely too old for a human to consume. So what did I do? I nuked that shit and ate it! (I'm not picky) So far I'm not feeling "deathly ill" the food didn't look or smell funny , and I personally think that humans have consumed much worse than some week old chicken and rice. So really , how long can something sit in the fridge before it becomes inedible? Obviously me and Matt don't see eye to eye on the subject...

Could I be .... BETTER? Nah...

2006-12-12T10:23:00.000-08:00

Well kids , I'm still sick , so thats gonna be my excuse for not blogging for days on end, k?
My cold turned into something that made me not be able to hear for some reason and now both of my ears hurt. As much as all of you blog readers out there would love to hear every snotty detail of my cold , I'm not gonna go there.

Oh and I guess I should mention that I didnt get the job! Bastards! I guess I need to invest in a handy dandy notebook and a nice suit and tie and maybe then I can pretend like I'm special, take notes like an ass kisser and get a job? Can you tell I'm bitter about the whole situation? I totally am.

I really , really, really, really need a job super bad! I think I'm driving Matt and Slug crazy being at home so much! But enough of my bitching ... my friend Trinnie Winnie started up her own super wicked awesome blog, and it can be found here.

So go there , read her blogs and comment her like a rockstar.

Fish at 4 AM

2006-12-03T08:48:00.000-08:00

So this morning as I sit on the couch eating Swedish fish (thank you Sarah!) , I realize that I should be sleeping, but I'm not. I seem to have caught whatever it was that has been keeping Sarah awake lately. I hate not being able to sleep, I'm one of those really grumpy sleepy people. I sat on the couch and thought out what my next blogging should say, I should have wrote it down, because now I cant remember. I finally crawled back into bed around 5:30 to try and get some sleep. While crawling into bed might sound easy , I guess I should add that I had to wedge myself between Matt and Slug. Slug knows that when I get up in the morning he can sprawl out and take up my piece of the bed, notice I don't say side , because I don't get a whole side, I just get a piece. I guess I would have been better off on the couch , because Slug obviously didn't want me in the bed , he just kept pushing and pushing on me until I got up again , and I've been walking around like a zombie ever since. I really hope to go to bed at about 6 this evening and not wake up for a few days.

I got an odd phone call Friday night , it was my friend from the hospital, she talked to me for about an hour about the job there , she wanted to confirm that I didn't plan on being pregnant any time soon. She told me that its down to me , and one other person, some guy that wore a freakin suit and tie to his interview. I don't own a suit , I wore khakis and a "nice" shirt. I just hope they see that obviously if he has the money for a suit , he doesn't need the job as bad as me.
Oh , about the pregnancy thing, I guess I should explain, She said that everyone at work is pregnant , and people are really tired of people being gone to have babies and such. I told her that babies were no where in my near future, so I hope that sealed the deal.

And now I feel like I'm to the point where I'm boring you, so I'm going to stop rambling about my weekend, but I have to add , that I just clicked on spellcheck and it didn't come up with a SINGLE mistake, maybe sleep deprivation is helping me be not so stupid.

My head is gonna fall off

2006-11-30T13:28:00.000-08:00

Hi, my heads gonna fall off. My neck has been killing me for over a week now so thats the only logical explanation I can come up with is that my head is just getting ready to fall off.... What the hell is wrong with me? Matt said it is tension, so I bought some fancy pants Excedrin Tension crap , yeah well , must not have been tension because it still hurts!

In other news, I still havent heard about the job , and I am really chomping at the bit!
Our engagment pictures turned out awesome and I cant brag enough about our photog, I highly recommend her to anyone (well anyone cool that is , I dont want anybody thats not cool going and saying I sent them , and then she wont think that I'm cool anymore , you see?)

Wanna hear a funny story? Yesterday it was in the 70s and today its raining and its about to freeze into a solid layer of ice, isnt that fun? My inflatable Homer doesnt think so , sometime this morning he took a nosedive into the mud , and I havent bothered going out in the freezing rain to stand him back up, I did unplug him though.

So yeah thats about all the useless information I have for today...

Dont forget kiddos , best photographer ever.

I recant my last statement.

2006-11-28T06:22:00.000-08:00

Ok so yesterday turned out great. After stressing out , throwing up my breakfast and calling fifteen zillion more salons , I found one last minute opening, so I went for it , Can I just say that no matter who fixes my hair I will always think it looks like hell? That's the perks of a bad haircut. Anyway , the girl fixed my hair , and we went on our way, when Matt saw my hair he snarled his nose a little so I was like great I look like shit. But he said the odd look was just because it was somewhat blown to the side from me driving with my window down. We went to Jclare Studios to meet with our photographer. She is effin' awesome , Matt fell in love with her too, he said she made him feel really comfortable and it was like we were just hanging out. That really made my day because other than my wedding dress , the photographer was the only thing Matt didn't really have a say in. When I met Jennifer for the first time I knew she was "the one" (that sounds kinda weird eh?) But seriously , we really clicked and I love her work. I think Matt knew that I had my mind set so he just signed the paperwork without ever meeting her. After our engagement session yesterday Matt was so excited! That is odd for the usually laid back semi-grumpy attitude he usually has. He said he wants to upgrade our package to include the "day after" session , which is after the wedding another session when you return from your honeymoon or something...

Anyway , enough with my bragging , you can find our profoundly fab photog at www.jclarestudios.com also keep an eye out on the blog , our e-pics should be there sometime soon...

I am now getting ready for my big interview at the hospital , I really really really want this job, so keep your fingers crossed for me at about 10 AM ...

Worst morning ever.

2006-11-27T07:50:00.000-08:00

Well today is supposed to be the day that I wake up , take a shower, go get my hair done, and my eyebrows waxed , because I have engagement pictures at 1. My hairdresser called me about an hour ago , there has been a death in her family and she cant do it. I totally understand , I would never expect her to come do my hair today , but the shitty part? No other salon in town has an opening before 1:30. The stay in bed Gods sure are smiling down on me today! I CANT fix my own hair, it just doesn't happen, sure as hell cant wax my own eyebrows. So I don't know what I'm going to do , I guess just write a blog about it , get on with my life and deal with having a bunch of pictures of me with fluffy hair and caterpillar brows.

Is nothing sacred?

2006-11-26T08:56:00.000-08:00

When I was a "child" (age 2-17) Sunday was a glorious day, that everyone in the house slept in. When Matt was a "child" (age 2-present) Sunday was obviously a glorious day to wake up early , go to church, or terrorize other people that are trying to sleep. We moved in together when Matt was about 20, Is that right? I dont keep track of dates and such. Anyway, I swear since we have lived together I havent slept in past 9 am on a Sunday. I've explained to him again and again how if he continues this behavior, he will in fact, wake up to a bloody spot where his balls used to be. He always laughs , and he thinks I'm joking but I'm not. I've about had all of this waking me up shit I can take , and I can guarantee that in the end , he will be in pain...

So my wake up call for this morning started with the usual banging around, turning the light on and asking me stupid questions, But then it elevated into something more ... Matt decided that he would wake Slug up and see if he wanted to play fetch. Of course Slug is always up for a game of fetch, so where does Matt throw the toy? Yes, directly at my head.

If anyone besides Sarah is reading this , you might not know Slug, he's my bulldog, that thinks he's a lapdog, but in reality, he weighs in at about 65 lbs. So Slug comes flying through the air and lands on my head to retreive his toy, stepping on my face and scrambling around to hurry and bring the toy back to daddy! What fun. And if you cant tell, that ruined my day. I hate waking up. If I have to go to work , or have an appointment, I wake myself up, I dont use an alarm. I sure as hell dont need a bulldog pouncing on my head to do the job. Of course to Matt , this was the funniest thing he's seen today, so I'm already plotting revenge...

Dont let Homer fool you

2006-11-25T11:46:00.000-08:00

Yes I'm posing with an over sized inflatable Homer Simpson in a Santa costume, does that mean I like Christmas? No... I hate this time of year, I am a Grinch. I'm not against the true meaning of Christmas , but I think its become commercialized, and I just don't enjoy it. I hate Holiday music, I hate people dressed up with red hats with fuzzy white trim. Bahh humbug, right?

Anyways, when did the holidays become just a time for presents? I like presents just as much as the next person , but nowadays kids don't even know what Christmas stands for, they think its just another reason to ask for a bunch of overpriced crap that they wont respect anyway.
If I had a choice I'd hibernate like a bear from Black Friday all the way till after the new year.

Also , while kids are fresh in my mind, why is it that out of all the streets in our neighborhood , every single child decides to congregate directly in front of my house? I don't feed them, talk to them, I don't even smile at them when I see them out there, yet there they are , with their skateboards driving my dogs crazy. I just looked to see why Booduh (my dog) was barking like a mad man , sure enough , they are out there SITTING in the middle of the road. We live on a busy street people! Sometimes I cant even pull into my own driveway. They just stand there and look at me. One time one of them was rolling down the middle of the street on his skateboard, listening to his IPod, staring at the ground, and Me and Matt were having to wait on him to get the hell out of our way to pull in our driveway, so he gets about 8 feet in front of the truck , never did look up because I guess he didn't hear us coming (safe huh?) , so Matt just lays down on the horn. You shoulda seen that kids face , I bet he shit himself.

Now that I've relived that story , I feel better.

Sarahs lover boy

2006-11-25T06:32:00.000-08:00

This made me giggle!

Nick Swardson is one funny mother effer.

Click to watch!

Please Spank Your Child

2006-11-25T06:31:00.002-08:00

Ok, first of all , I dont like kids. Some kids are OK but some just need thumped in their head! The other day , me and Slug are out in the yard pooping. (He's pooping, not me) Anyways, the annoying neighbor children come strolling down the road beside my house , with their yapping ass dog NOT on a leash, just running free! So then they decide to call Slug out into the road to pet him. Uh no. My dog is not going to get run over because of these dumbass kids. So I get Slug and start to take him to the other side of the house so he can "finish his business" , one of the kids followed me up into my yard and said "You need to take Slug in your house because when my dog sees other dogs she barks a lot" Ok , so a 7 year old is now standing in my yard and telling me to take my dog in my house? So , I told him that if it was such a problem , maybe he should take HIS dog home. Did I mention I hate kids?

Please Put Your Pants On

2006-11-25T06:31:00.001-08:00

The other day, me and Matt got out of the car, I think we went out for dinner or something romantic I'm sure. Anyways, we got out of the car, and we're walking into the house, of course Slug meets us at the door, so we let him out to pee. We are chatting about something and I hear a loud *SLAP SLAP SLAP* and turn around to see our neighbor mooning us. Not only bare ass mooning us, but also slapping his ass *at* us. His girlfriend was sitting in their kitchen, so he may have been mooning her, and we were inadvertently mooned in the process. We don't know these people, and haven't had any problems with them. But now I can't look at him when he drives by because I can't shake the feeling that the bare ass was directed towards us for some reason. I thought maybe our barking dogs have bothered them, but if someone's dogs were bothering me, I'd probably say "Hey lady shut your dogs up!" instead of dropping my pants and waving and slapping my ass at them. But, that's just me.

Makin the switch....

2006-11-25T06:28:00.000-08:00

Sarah finally convinced me I need a "real" blog so I'm starting by copying some posts from my myspace blog...

Hello - I have something I'd like to share with all of you dedicated blog readers, (Just Sarah, I know, dont rub it in) Anywho- As some of you know , Slug has recently been having some allergy problems. The vet changed his medicine and said that the new stuff will make him very thirsty, so after one day of the new medicine and refilling his bowl a bajillion times , me and Matt decided to invest in a new water holding thinga majig , It has a tank at the top , like you see in an office , ya follow me? Anyways , when he drinks so much water , and it fills itself back up , it makes that bubbling gurgle noise.... which scares the shit out of Slug, he will growl and run backwards (Which on hardwood floors is rather entertaining) I thought he was getting used to it , but last night it gurgled and he almost fell over trying to get away from it! I'm hoping to catch him on video being scared of his water bowl, and if I do , yall will be the first ones to see it.